10/12/2002 - 1:05 AM
10/12/2002 - 1:05 AM
I remember junior year of college, I came so close, so near to something so important to me, but it never came to be. I had wanted so much, I had wanted love I had wanted a relationship, I had wanted it all, but none of it did I get. I got a great friendship, but it is incomparable to what I wanted. I wanted friendship but so much more. I tried and tried to convince my new found companion to love me as I loved her, but it was to no avail. I watched as a great shadow past across my face every time is saw her. it was a shadow of pain and a shadow of empty love. Love I had wanted but would never have. I learned something important that when you fall in love, it doesn't matter what you feel alone, but it is very important that you know the other person's intentions and feelings as well and if they do not share the same feelings as you, you must acknowledge the fact and move on; hard as it may be. Hard as it was and has been my entire life I did move on, I always wondered what happened to my first love, the one true thing I thought I had in life. I remember that night we had talked. we were two immensely introverted people, yet I had become strangely attracted to her. Attracted to everything about her, attracted to her smell, attracted to her voice, attracted to everything about her, but one has to move on past these failures. Do they call them failures when you fall in love with someone and they don't feel the same way about you. I remember that night. I sat in the same room with her dreaming of what could be, what should be, and what might have been. I went to sleep that night, thought I felt as though I felt naked and lost. I knew not what was what and all I felt like doing was crying and I cried. It felt good, for the moment, but to this day I look back on that day and realize how terrible it all was for me. I knew how she felt, I knew what she wanted or didn't want, but is it what I wanted. I felt like did I stop to think about these things. Had I ever taken in her feelings? I cried that night, whether the tears flowed from me or within I can't remember but it was difficult, but people do face difficult times and one must move on. I sometimes wonder where all the time goes. What happened to life and living it to its fullest? Do people still think about these things. Did anyone know how I felt, I wondered what it felt like to come so close to something all my life and now it's all gone. . .
I remember junior year of college, I came so close, so near to something so important to me, but it never came to be. I had wanted so much, I had wanted love I had wanted a relationship, I had wanted it all, but none of it did I get. I got a great friendship, but it is incomparable to what I wanted. I wanted friendship but so much more. I tried and tried to convince my new found companion to love me as I loved her, but it was to no avail. I watched as a great shadow past across my face every time is saw her. it was a shadow of pain and a shadow of empty love. Love I had wanted but would never have. I learned something important that when you fall in love, it doesn't matter what you feel alone, but it is very important that you know the other person's intentions and feelings as well and if they do not share the same feelings as you, you must acknowledge the fact and move on; hard as it may be. Hard as it was and has been my entire life I did move on, I always wondered what happened to my first love, the one true thing I thought I had in life. I remember that night we had talked. we were two immensely introverted people, yet I had become strangely attracted to her. Attracted to everything about her, attracted to her smell, attracted to her voice, attracted to everything about her, but one has to move on past these failures. Do they call them failures when you fall in love with someone and they don't feel the same way about you. I remember that night. I sat in the same room with her dreaming of what could be, what should be, and what might have been. I went to sleep that night, thought I felt as though I felt naked and lost. I knew not what was what and all I felt like doing was crying and I cried. It felt good, for the moment, but to this day I look back on that day and realize how terrible it all was for me. I knew how she felt, I knew what she wanted or didn't want, but is it what I wanted. I felt like did I stop to think about these things. Had I ever taken in her feelings? I cried that night, whether the tears flowed from me or within I can't remember but it was difficult, but people do face difficult times and one must move on. I sometimes wonder where all the time goes. What happened to life and living it to its fullest? Do people still think about these things. Did anyone know how I felt, I wondered what it felt like to come so close to something all my life and now it's all gone. . .
posted by Loonyx @ 4:39 AM
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